Only half of modern men have written a love letter

Men are struggling when it comes to modern chivalry, according to a report published today.

Despite 78 per cent of women saying they would love to receive a romantic letter or poem, only half of men (50 per cent) have penned either, the study found.

Most women claim they would treasure a love letter, or poem, for the time and effort spent writing it, which is perhaps why 6 per cent of men confessed to passing off existing romantic poetry as their own in order to impress the fair sex.

While the passionately composed love lyric was an important feature of wooing in olden times, today’s men are more inclined to use their mobiles to dash off a text (21 per cent) or an emailed message (11 per cent) to their loved one, according to the Lindt Lindor Code of Modern Chivalry report.

The study found that while the majority of women are regular users of Facebook and Twitter, 56 per cent would feel disappointed to receive a wall message or tweet instead of a traditional greetings card this coming Valentine’s weekend.

The study found that 62 per cent of women would like to be complimented on their appearance, while a third (33 per cent) appreciate a partner with good eye contact, regarding this as a sign of devotion.

It also unearthed the behaviour that would-be modern knights should avoid at all costs:

  • If taking one’s loved one for dinner, pick up the bill – a third of women (32 per cent) admit they do not expect to ‘go Dutch’ on Valentine’s Day.
  • Focus on the lady one is with – wandering eyes are a major cause of offence for eight in 10 (80 per cent) women.
  • Switch off the phone and Blackberry, or even better, leave them at home. Interrupting the evening with a phone call, text or email would almost unanimously irritate women (98 per cent).

Relationship expert Jenni Trent Hughes said: “We may no longer be knights in shining armour or damsels in distress, but we still want and need romance – it is part of our emotional DNA.


The Twelve Trusts

Upon my honour,

  1. I will develop my life for the greater good.
  2. I will place character above riches, and concern for others above personal wealth.
  3. I will never boast, but cherish humility instead.
  4. I will speak the truth at all times, and forever keep my word.
  5. I will defend those who cannot defend themselves.
  6. I will honor and respect women, and refute sexism in all its guises.
  7. I will uphold justice by being fair to all.
  8. I will be faithful in love and loyal in friendship.
  9. I will abhor scandals and gossip-neither partake nor delight in them.
  10. I will be generous to the poor and to those who need help.
  11. I will forgive when asked, that my own mistakes will be forgiven.
  12. I will live my life with courtesy and honour from this day forward.

By adhering to these 12 Trusts, I swear to partake in the living Quest in everything I do.

A Noteworthy Event

As I stood outside my son’s primary school at the end of the school day, children ran around joyfully  under the bright sun, parents chatted among themselves, and a young pre-school toddler played with his older brother.

The toddler ran towards the road, a car was driving along it. He was too far away for any of the parents to reach. Hidden by trees, I do not know if the driver could see him. Hearts pumped.  Then a shout delve through it all, a shout so driven and focused that it seemed to slice through all sound and movement.

Then Silence.

The complete silence of no-action. It seemed that the whole universe was brought to a standstill. Child, Parent, Bird, and even Air paused to take note. More importantly, so did the car.

The moment passed. The child collected. The car continued. Uncertainty about what had just happened buzzed in the air. Some smiles. Some embarrassment. Some awe.

What I witnessed was the power of the shout. Never before had I witnessed it in so pure a form.  The Japanese call the study of it Kiai Jutsu, it’s a worthy avenue to explore!

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